Client Management

The client was waiting for SMS on a narrow stretch of rocky beach that ran alongside Dallas Road. Other areas of the winding beachside street were popular tourist destinations, with trails and cliffs and beautiful ocean views, but for this meeting the client had chosen a segment of the beach that was less busy, better to hold a private conversation of this nature.

Like a good animal rights hippie, the man was dressed entirely in synthetic fabrics and was munching on a carrot stick. As SMS crossed the sand and logs that separated them, he saw a seagull swoop down and perch on a rock fifteen feet away from the man, eyeing the carrot sticks. The man watched it like a cornered dog. For someone who apparently cared so much about wildlife, he didn’t appear to have an especially close connection with it.

The client was still staring nervously at the seagull when SMS said, “Hello.”

The man jumped. “Oh!”

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[Video Script] The Bacon Heist


…And did you see the look on that guy’s face when I transformed Mick and threw him like a boomerang? He was like, “Whaaaaa?”

You’d think he’d never seen a man turn into a chunk of drywall before.

Don’t throw me around like that anymore, Andy. I’m getting dizzy again just thinking about it.

Would you rather be back in that alley getting curb stomped?

No… (He sighs.) But I hate being “Chunk of Drywall Man.” If I have to be a special, why can’t I do something cool?

You think having detachable arms is so much better? Continue reading


The rhythmic hum and vibration of the car engine was threatening to lull SMS to sleep as he leaned back against the headrest and slowly tapped his fingers along the spine of Innis’s notebook. It was past midnight now, and beyond the reach of the headlights the world was as black as the void. The moon and stars were hidden behind clouds, and the massive trees that loomed over the highway on either side gave the impression of driving through a forested tunnel.

“Are we getting close?” asked Esther from the back seat. Continue reading

Bacon for Thinking With

Kevin and Esther’s drive back to Victoria was going even more quietly than the drive up, other than the continuous crunching of carrot sticks as Esther tried to relax from the tension and discomfort of the prison visit. Kevin opened his mouth a few times to try to start a conversation, but thought better of it each time. It was obvious Esther had a lot on her mind. Maybe it was better to just let her process it.

As they approached Mill Bay, the carrot crunching stopped. Kevin glanced over and saw Esther looking into the empty plastic container and sighing. “Out of carrots?” he said.

“Mm hmm.”

“Sure you don’t want any bacon?”

Esther looked out the window for a few seconds, then held the plastic container out towards him. “Yeah, fine. Bacon me.” Continue reading


The phone buzzed on Kevin Cox’s bedside table. He groaned, rolled over, and smacked his lips. It buzzed again.

Kevin woozily pushed himself into a sitting position. Who would be calling him at… 11:35 AM? Oh. Huh.

The phone buzzed again. Kevin fumbled for it and hit Answer. “Hello?” He hoped the grogginess in his voice didn’t carry through the phone too obviously.

“Hey, Kevin. It’s Esther. How’s it going?” Continue reading