[Video Script] The Bacon Heist


…And did you see the look on that guy’s face when I transformed Mick and threw him like a boomerang? He was like, “Whaaaaa?”

You’d think he’d never seen a man turn into a chunk of drywall before.

Don’t throw me around like that anymore, Andy. I’m getting dizzy again just thinking about it.

Would you rather be back in that alley getting curb stomped?

No… (He sighs.) But I hate being “Chunk of Drywall Man.” If I have to be a special, why can’t I do something cool?

You think having detachable arms is so much better? Continue reading



The rhythmic hum and vibration of the car engine was threatening to lull SMS to sleep as he leaned back against the headrest and slowly tapped his fingers along the spine of Innis’s notebook. It was past midnight now, and beyond the reach of the headlights the world was as black as the void. The moon and stars were hidden behind clouds, and the massive trees that loomed over the highway on either side gave the impression of driving through a forested tunnel.

“Are we getting close?” asked Esther from the back seat. Continue reading


Kevin and Esther strolled quietly down the sidewalk, hands in their pockets, glancing furtively at each other every now and then and pretending to be embarrassed when they caught one another looking. The warm bellyful of steak and the bright sky full of stars had Kevin feeling happier than he could remember being in a long time. Happy enough even to try something a little bit brave…

He withdrew his hand from his pocket and casually swung it back and forth a few times, then, as if by accident, let it brush against Esther’s hand, which was still inside her pocket. In half a second flat he felt her fingers twine into his and give a firm squeeze. He looked up in surprise, and she flashed him a modest smile. His cheeks turned red and he grinned like a little schoolboy.

The rest of the world melted away. The street noises faded into the background. They were walking, and they were holding hands, and life was good.

Suddenly Kevin was jolted out of his happy place by a shoulder to the chest. Continue reading

Date Night

The multirhythmic, wavering tones of world music were playing from disguised speakers set under the varnished bamboo cornices that edged the restaurant as Kevin Cox tried to find a comfortable position for his legs underneath the low table. He wasn’t sure whether to set his feet out to either side, cross his legs at the ankles, or just cut his losses and stick his legs out at an angle so they emerged from under the table beside Esther’s chair. He squirmed his feet into a few different positions, trying them out. Mid-adjustment he bumped into Esther’s legs and they both drew their feet back, embarrassed.

“Sorry,” said Kevin. “I’m used to having a little more leg room.” Continue reading


Kevin chivalrously opened the front door of Esther’s house for her and nearly fell through it and flat onto the floor. His legs ached, his back ached, and his feet felt like they were barely supporting his weight. And speaking of weight, he felt like he’d probably lost 20 pounds in sweat alone.

“Thanks,” said Esther, heading inside with what looked deceptively like a bounce in her step.

Kevin stumbled after her and wobbled into the living room, where he collapsed onto a couch and tried to breathe the pain away.

Continue reading